Sunday, November 29, 2020

I'm Recovering From Covid

 


My last two blog posts were about quarantine, so I guess it makes sense that #3 would wind up being about me actually coming down with COVID-19.  The whole ordeal started the day after Election Night.  My daughter felt sick with a headache, runny nose and fatigue which I originally assumed was due to her staying up late to watch the election.  But the next day, she felt the same. I didn't think that she had COVID because the infection rate was only at 1% in Staten Island - or so I thought.  That day, Thursday, 11/5, I noticed that I felt unusually fatigued.  I remember saying to my daughter, "Usually when I stay up all night, I'm only tired the next day, not two days later.  Well, I guess I'm just getting older."  I also noticed that every time I stood up or bent down, all the blood rushed to my head.  But again, I thought there was no way we had COVID because I mistakenly believed the infection rate was SO low at the time. Sure enough, by Friday, 11/6, my daughter still felt the same.  Her nose was running, but she also complained that her headache felt different than any other headache she'd ever had.  So I took her to her pediatrician, and her COVID test came back positive.  By this point, I had a post-nasal drip, and since I'd been wearing masks everywhere, I couldn't imagine that I'd caught a cold or sinus infection from anyone while I was out and about which was hardly ever these days anyway.  So when she tested positive, I assumed I was positive for COVID too.  

I spent a very sleepless Friday night even after taking a Librax to calm down my IBS which had acted up from the anxiety.  I woke up every single hour.  The knowledge that there was now COVID in the house was terrifying. My daughter's pediatrician assured me that 99% of teenagers like my daughter are better in a few days and completely better in a week, but what about a woman my age?  I got my COVID test first thing Saturday morning, 11/7, and it was negative, but I still asked the doctor to give me an exam, check my throat, lungs and oxygen levels.  He said that everything was fine except that my throat was red.  

That whole weekend, my daughter was quarantined to her bedroom, and I wore a mask to bring her all her meals.  Physically, I felt exactly the same as I had for the past few days, just fatigued and still had the post-nasal drip, but I didn't feel sick, so I thought that MAYBE I really DID escape getting COVID myself.  Maybe I had allergies and was just overly tired from the sleepless nights and stress of my daughter having COVID? But by Monday, 11/9, my post-nasal drip was so bad that I had to keep swallowing, and I felt very congested and uncomfortable.  I took a spoonful of honey and gargled with salt water.  A few hours later,  I got these terrible gastro feelings where I felt like my stomach and my lower abdominal muscles had tightened in a way that I had never felt before, even with my IBS. The pain and stiffness was traveling up and down, and there was no relief.  I assumed it was either the honey or that I had reclined too soon after eating tomato sauce.  I didn't even remember that gastro symptoms can also be a sign of COVID.  When I got into bed, I had to keep a heating pad on my lower stomach and prop myself up with two pillows until I fell asleep.  Then, throughout the night, the gastro pains were replaced by a headache where very time I turned my head, I felt pain that wouldn't stop. I kept falling asleep and waking up, turning my head, and feeling the headache again. When I finally got out of bed Tuesday morning, 11/10, I took my temperature, and it was 100 degrees.  It was then that I knew I definitely had COVID.  

That's when I panicked.  I called the Teledoc phone number to get a telephone conference with a doctor.  A very nice female doctor called me back, and I told her I first had symptoms on Thursday, 11/5, which would now put me at the beginning of Day 6 of my COVID illness.  I had remembered from reading countless news articles and seeing many news stories on TV that in adults, COVID often worsens several days after the initial onset of symptoms so I asked the doctor which days in the COVID cycle are considered the scary days where one has to worry about his or her symptoms escalating into something serious? She said the scary symptoms happen between Days 5-9, but not to worry, as since my daughter's exposure was contact traced to either 11/2 or 11/3, and since I was already experiencing symptoms on 11/5, most people would have shown the serious symptoms by now. She said I could probably expect to feel more of the same symptoms that I felt right now at my peak.  I tried to hope for the best and remembered that 99% of adults with COVID only experience what is considered minor illness: headache, body aches, congestion, fever, etc., but not serious illness consisting of shortness of breath, chest pains and pneumonia.  But I knew the next few days would be some of the most anxiety-filled of my life.

After I got off the phone with the Teledoc doctor, I took two Tylenols and continued to take them every six hours that day, but my headache didn't go away until nighttime. This meant I had a twenty-four hour headache WITH medication. That night, during my sleep, I broke out in sweats and changed my T-shirt three times, the way you do when you have the flu when the fever finally breaks.  But unlike nearly all the times I've had the flu which started with high temperatures of 101 and above, with COVID, my temperature never went above 100, it was mostly 99, so that surprised me, but I guess I still had to sweat it out.         

The next two days, Wednesday, 11/11, and Thursday, 11/12, which were Days 7 and 8, I was so tired that even going up the stairs made me feel completely exhausted.  That put me in a panic because I couldn't tell if I was now experiencing the "shortness of breath" symptom, or if just the act of climbing the stairs was making me completely exhausted. I still had a feeling of heavy congestion, and I constantly worried I would get a bad cough and chest pains.  I checked my oxygen levels regularly with the pulse oximeter that I immediately ordered from Amazon the night my daughter tested positive, and it really did come in handy to calm my nerves.  My oxygen was usually 98 or 99 (normal readings are from around mid to upper 90's), but my pulse was always in the 100's which I thought was a little high when up to 90 is considered normal.  I read online that sometimes when your body is fighting a virus, your heart has to work harder to pump out the blood which makes your resting heart rate increase, so I tried not to worry about my unusually high pulse rate over the three days that I felt the sickest.

There was one positive note regarding the sickness I felt.  During the afternoons, on the days I felt the sickest, I slept more relaxed and calmly than I ever had in my entire life.  It felt like I was floating on clouds as long as I kept perfectly still.  It was like my body was rewarding me for not using any energy because it needed all the energy it had to fight this virus.  

Meanwhile, the NY Covid Hotline called every single day since my daughter tested positive on 11/6.  They had a file on me too since I was the parent and was exposed to COVID myself.  So by Tuesday, 11/10, after four days of my answering the hotline's questions where I had to respond "Yes" or "No" to a list of COVID symptoms, I was now answering "Yes" to many of them.  The hotline told me, "You are now experiencing symptoms consistent with COVID-19."  After that call, I really looked forward to their daily calls where they would go over the symptoms checklist with me, and I felt reassurance that I was still saying "No" to the serious symptoms of COVID.  I also felt relief at being able to agree that the symptoms I said "Yes" to were improving.  

By Friday, 11/13, I finally reached Day 9, and I continued to improve.  By Day 10, my pulse was back to the 70's, but on Sunday, Day 11, I woke up with no sense of smell.  I noticed it when I went to do my daily cleaning of the bathroom sink when after spraying the Lysol spray cleaner and anticipating its strong smell, suddenly there was nothing.  I couldn't smell the hand soap I washed my hands with either.  I went all around the house and finally found one thing I could still smell which was this huge cinnamon caramel swirl candle.  I was further thrilled when I opened up the jar of peanut butter, and I could smell that too.  But I couldn't smell anything else. I went downstairs to bring up some more scented candles and found one red vanilla chai one in which I could faintly smell the vanilla. When I sat down to eat,  I could taste salty, sour and sweet but only on my tongue.  I couldn't taste the actual food, I could just identify salty, sour and sweet.  I assumed this was because I am a supertaster with many taste buds.  When I ate my meals, I tried to focus on textures more than taste because I couldn't smell my food.  When I made pasta, I couldn't taste the tomato sauce at all, and it was depressing, so I put some raw, shredded mozzarella on it, and the texture and the fact that I could taste a bit of creaminess cheered me up.

Finally, three days later, my smell returned while I was eating an egg sandwich, suddenly noticing that it tasted exactly the way it was supposed to.  I went into the bathroom to spray the Lysol cleaner in the sink to test it, and I was able to smell it.  The vanilla chai candle now smelled like a spicy vanilla, not a very faint vanilla. I went to my bedroom and sprayed perfume on my arm so I could keep smelling it on my wrist all day because I was SO thrilled that I could finally smell again!

It has been a slow recovery though.  Once I had gotten much better and no longer had to quarantine, any time I went out of the house, I got a terrible headache just from the exertion. Even as I worked from home, my hand would sometimes shake while I was typing,  I would get a headache again, and my temperature sometimes went to 99.  This never happened to me with the flu.  I'd have a high fever on the first day, bad body aches and chills, but after about a week, once it was done, it was done.  I might have felt a bit tired over the next week after I'd recovered but not crushingly exhausted as I did now.  It seems to take a much longer time to kick COVID completely.  I think you just have to listen to what your body tells you and rest if it needs you to.  Each day that is a good day, I can tell I'm getting better, but now, even after three and a half weeks of my initial symptoms, I'm still very tired and not back to 100% yet.  

So that's my experience with COVID.  It ran through my entire household, as it is VERY contagious.  My advice is to wear a mask when you're anywhere outside of your house and to take this illness seriously.  Our COVID experience was contact traced back to someone who habitually wore the mask as a chin guard, exposing the nose and mouth.  Avoid indoor areas with anyone who is doing this.  It's not a joke, and it's not a hoax.  Listen to the scientists and stay safe!



Wednesday, July 29, 2020

5 Ways To Have Fun During Post-Quarantine Limbo


Remember in January when we referred to 2020 as "The Roaring 20's" so we could feel like our new decade would be as wild and free as the original 1920's? Back in 1920, people were happy that World War I was over, and they celebrated through decadence and carefree living.  But by 1929,  the stock market crashed which facilitated the Great Depression causing many months of fear and anxiety.  Turns out our Roaring 20's were headed in the same direction but instead of it taking a decade to crash and burn, it took us only a few months!

I live in New York City, and these days, our numbers of COVID-19 cases are less than 1% positive among those  tested.  This is an all-time low, considering our number of virus cases had skyrocketed in March, April and May.  We are now partially reopened, and people can be less afraid of going outdoors.  Personally, I feel as though I am in a "Post-Quarantine Limbo." I can't go back to a "life is normal again" routine when such a large portion of our country currently has their hospitals overfilled with Coronavirus patients.  These states didn't follow New York's example of not reopening until the cases were down. They didn't wear masks and participated in large indoor gatherings. Even scarier, some New Yorkers are also guilty of this right now, convinced that our previous high number of cases is a thing of the past. Between my own state's complacency coupled with the reality that people from all over the country will try to travel to New York City this summer, it may be just a matter of time until we New Yorkers have to go back into full quarantine.  Realizing this, I think that before we crash and burn again, why don't we just have a bit of fun during this little reprieve of low infection rate and pleasant (albeit very hot and rainy) summer weather while we can?


Here is a list of 5 things we can enjoy while in Post-Quarantine Limbo:


1.  Visiting Outdoor Markets, Outside Dining and a Limited Amount of Indoor Retail Shopping 

Finally, we can feel safe to do small trips out.  After not leaving my neighborhood for half of March and the entire months of April and May, I was hardly able to contain myself when June rolled around, and I took my first trip back to Stop & Shop!  Home deliveries of food kept me fed during quarantine, but back when I gave up actual meat in the year 2001, I never thought that one day I would also have to give up meat substitutes! I couldn't find any home delivery method to get Morningstar Bacon, Boca Burgers or Amy's Spaghetti and Meatballs, so I was thrilled to load my shopping cart and freezer with all of those again.  Later in June, I shopped and ate at Empire Outlets, an outdoor marketplace near the Staten Island Ferry.  Fantasizing about returning to Empire Outlets kept me sane back in March. I told myself that by July 1st, I'll be outdoors at Empire Outlets, feeling the ocean wind in my hair.  I assured myself: "I WILL shop and eat outside food again!"  So this summer, I plan to make every minute count. I need to just in case by winter, my biggest thrill will again be the fact that my Misfits Box contains those little yellow potatoes that I can cut into quarters and microwave. 



2. Reading Romantic Fiction About Pandemic Heroes

Think of how anxiety-ridden New Yorkers would have been back in March and April if we didn't have our quarantine hero, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo (the Luv Gov), to reassure us with daily Coronavirus briefings? Dr. Anthony Fauci's soothing and intelligent words were also there to comfort our souls. So imagine my thrill when I heard about a 1991 romantic novel in which its author, Sally Quinn, based her romantic hero, Dr. Michael Lanzer, on none other than our very own Dr. Fauci!  You too can dig up this old book (I found it on Amazon, but you have to look every day because copies under $40 are few and far between) and enjoy escaping into steamy prose starring one of our quarantine heroes.  Bearing that in mind, why not just write a story yourself?  For instance, CNN host Christopher Cuomo and his frequent guest, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, can also be materialized into dashing romantic characters.  Or, if you're a male, why not write a romantic story about that beautiful brunette reporter who asks Trump the tough questions on CNN?  Just now, I Googled exactly that: "beautiful brunette reporter on CNN who Trump hates," and the first thing that popped up was exactly the name I was trying to remember:  Kaitlan Collins! I believe we should keep up the skill of escaping into our minds through reading and fantasy so our imagination muscles can stay flexed if we have to go into full-time quarantine again.  Nothing and nobody can ever stop us from reading and writing.

 3.  Baking Shih-Tzu Sugar Cookies

Seems like everyone was cooking, baking bread, and making their own pizza dough during quarantine.  Since it's such a healthy and enjoyable habit, I think we should keep this indoor hobby up whether quarantined or not.  I think I'm going to expand to buying cookie cutters in the shape of Shih-Tzus so I can bake sugar cookies from scratch which I haven't done in about two decades.  I'll also continue to utilize my giant box of Bisquick purchased during quarantine because with it, I can make everything from biscuits to muffins to pizza crust.  If there's anything anyone can think of that Bisquick CAN'T be turned into, please comment below and let me know.

4. Laughing at Funny Memes

Keep reading those funny memes because if you don't laugh, you'll cry.



5.   Setting Off or Just Watching Fireworks, 1990's-Style

I'm still hearing fireworks go off nearly every single night, and this 4th of July, they were completely out of control!  It was like the early 1990's again! This year, nobody heeded the usual fireworks warnings to not buy them because they are dangerous and illegal.  But I'm not complaining, as they were truly beautiful to see, and I didn't even have to leave my house!  I marveled at all their beautiful colors from my second floor window.  It's something we can keep on doing even if we get thrust into full-time quarantine again because they are an outdoor activity.  Plus, people will continue to socially distance while using them because who on earth wants to get their face that close to another person's flaming firework?


So while we remain in Post-Quarantine Limbo, let's just continue the fireworks show.  Let's be reckless and decadent in our imaginations and indoor forms of escapism.  But when the fun gets carried outside of our homes, let's just remember we must continue to stay socially distanced and Wear. A. Mask. 








Monday, May 25, 2020

Be Careful What You Wish For

















I spent the entire month of January working on a new short story. I edited it and cut it down drastically to adhere to the word count requirements for a submission call.  That meant putting aside the novel I've been writing for the past two years. By February, I knew it was time to get back to the novel, but I always found some reason to procrastinate. I was too exhausted from working all day, or on my days off, I was too agitated from being around people at the grocery store or overly irritated from waiting on a long line at the bank.  I always seemed to need another a break before I had to wake up and do it all over again tomorrow. I told myself: "If I could just have a few weeks home, I could really dive into this novel, make a dent in it, and finish a first draft. I just need a big bulk of time at home." Then, of course, March rolled along, and this wasn't at all what I'd wished for!


I worked my last day in Manhattan on March 16th, and on my walk home from the train station, I realized it would be a long time before I could go into the City again. After reading a few news stories and watching Governor Cuomo's press conferences, I predicted that the earliest I would be back to work was July 1st. This made me sad because I liked being in the City.  I loved eating my lunch in cafes and the hustle and bustle of walking outdoors.  I even enjoyed hurrying around to make the train and ferry connections.  I went to bed feeling awful. But the next morning, I woke up from a dream that I'd met a male stranger (a made-up one I didn't recognize from real life), and in the dream, the chase was so exciting, and I couldn't wait to see how things would unfold.  Then the next night, I had the same dream but with a different mystery man. The third night, same thing, yet another unknown man.  Why was I having pleasant dreams when all the news around me was so tragic, and nearly the entire planet had just been forced into quarantine with terrible fears of this new virus?





Possibly because subconsciously, I was excited about the idea of finally having enough time to do my writing at home. As a natural born introvert, I've always spent most of my time at home.  I crave alone time. I long to write. But even though I was home, the state of the world was tragic and scary, and I found it difficult to concentrate on my novel. I was fortunate enough to be able to earn money from home, and the only thing I feared particularly about being in quarantine was running out of things I needed. Luckily, home deliveries of food and chocolate, non-food essentials and, of course, liquor, kept those fears in check.  So, as long as I stayed home and didn't have to worry about catching the virus, I felt okay.  But many of my friends and people talking about quarantine on TV weren't feeling okay at all. I could understand their continued anxiety and their depression if they were out of work and struggling with money, but many of them were either also working from home or being supported by someone who was.  They just couldn't get used to the idea of being indoors and not being out in the world, but I had adjusted. I tried to figure out why.




My best theory is because as a writer, the joy and satisfaction I feel is not related to being out among other people but rather in challenging myself.  Creative writing is not dependent on crowd interaction.  I think if a person's art is dependent on outside validation and applause, then being quarantined must be extremely difficult.  Another theory is that as an introvert, I gain energy by being indoors whereas extroverts are energized by being outdoors. I believe that my extrovert friends' lack of energy has slowed some of them down into a deep depression.

On a more positive note, judging by what I see on social media and TV, it seems that many people, both artists and non-artists, although somewhat depressed and anxious, are trying to make the best of quarantine by doing things they wouldn't have time for if they were out in the world right now. I'm checking off the same things that they are: I've already made homemade pizza and baked brownies; I've binged new series on Hulu like "Dollface" and "High Fidelity"; I've watched as many indie movies as I can find on Pluto TV; and I regularly watch "Cuomo Prime Time" so I can laugh at the banter between the Cuomo brothers. On weekends, I go for walks in the neighborhood or to the harbor. I've also cut my Shih-Tzu dog's bangs and often hang out with her on the deck when weather permits.

The best part of my quarantine is that I'm finally getting some writing done. I've started a brand new short story and have been working on it nearly every day which is a regularity I could never achieve before the quarantine. I'm entertaining myself and keeping up my writing chops, but I still can't really dive into the novel! I can't make a dent in it, and I haven't gotten close to finishing its first draft. Maybe the key to being comfortable in quarantine is to lower our expectations. I'm not making great progress on the novel, but I have started a new short story that wouldn't exist if I hadn't been put into quarantine.  Overall, the most important thing any of us can do is to try and stay as healthy as possible and do our part to keep others healthy as well.  We won't be indoors forever.  Time always passes much more quickly than we wished it had, and sometimes, we need to be careful of what we wish for.