My Novel Taming Jaguars Is Finished!!!

 

Jasmine, Patsy, and Vera accompany me everywhere. They join me when I take a walk, help me do the dishes, cook baked ziti with me, and listen when I play the piano. After a handful of years, this is how I got to know them, and now that my fifth novel, "Taming Jaguars," is finished, it's time to send them off into the world. 

Jasmine is the "I" character in Taming Jaguars. It is summertime, and the story begins when at age forty-nine, she moves into the beach house owned by her new boyfriend, Rex, in the fictitious town of Cape Castle. Rex is Jasmine's first serious boyfriend since her marriage ended with a shocking confession over a decade ago. She is perpetually filled with anxiety that her relationship with Rex will not work out, so she spends the summer self-medicating with Chardonnay and through the healing scents of the ocean's sea salt. At first, Taming Jaguars was supposed to focus on Jasmine and Rex's burgeoning relationship, but after a year of outlines and sketches of my first few chapters, I realized I'd rather explore her friendship with two of my female characters, Patsy and Vera. I wanted to learn more about their personalities and histories because I found these unique and gutsy older women fascinating. 

Patsy is a blue-eyed blonde spending another summer living in her faded musician boyfriend's beach house. She is forty-four years old, and she ignores the ticking of her biological clock, preferring to focus on enjoying the hedonistic temptations in life. She brings her closest Cape Castle friend, Vera, into the mix who is a youthful seventy-nine-year-old with no qualms about wearing her bikini top every time she relaxes in the beach town. Throughout my novel, Vera sets out to help Patsy and Jasmine with their youthful dramas despite harboring a spicy secret of her own.

Now that the drafts are finished, my next step is spreading the word on social media. When I self-published my novels, Bliss, Bliss, Bliss  (2011) and Iggy Gorgess (2014), I connected with writers, editors, and indie publishers through Twitter, but now that Twitter is gone, I'm mostly on my Facebook Author Page, Instagram, and my Goodreads Author Page. Recently, I've discovered Substack, yet another website where writers can post notes and quotes from their novels.

Since Taming Jaguars is not yet a printed book, I am working on a one-page synopsis and author's bio to submit to independent publishers hoping to find someone who will help me get Jasmine, Patsy, and Vera into the hands and minds of readers.

Although Taming Jaguars mostly focuses on older women, my character Mel is an Instagram model in her early twenties, and the disdain Jasmine and Patsy have for her is often humorous. Here is a short excerpt that features Mel, Jasmine, and Patsy meeting Vera at the spa's indoor swimming pool:

            Mel changed from her white terrycloth robe into a skimpy, pink and tan bikini. I couldn't figure out where she had gotten a bikini?

            “Umm,” she said. “I should have told you both to bring bikinis today. I always carry one in my purse.”

            “That's resourceful,” Vera said.

            “But why would it be 'resourceful' to carry a bikini in your purse?” Patsy asked.

            “Because we are the inhabitants of a beach town.” 

            “It's silly,” Patsy said. “I always know when I'm going for a swim. I don't have many pop-up bikini moments to surprise me!”

            I laughed loudly, but Mel just shrugged.

           “Oh, don't be callous,” Vera said. “If you girls had carried bikinis in your purses today, you and Jasmine would be in the water with us right now instead of kicking your legs about at the edge of the pool! 

Thank you for reading a bit about my journey writing my fifth novel, Taming Jaguars. Stay tuned for more excerpts at the following links: 

https://www.facebook.com/chrissibliss/ 

https://www.instagram.com/christabelgorgess/?hl=en

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5232496.Chrissi_Sepe

https://substack.com/@chrissisepe?

Photo by Ralph Crane

 

Be Careful What You Wish For

I spent the entire month of January working on a new short story. I edited it and cut it down drastically to adhere to the word count requirements for a submission call.  That meant putting aside the novel I've been writing for the past two years. By February, I knew it was time to get back to the novel, but I always found some reason to procrastinate. I was too exhausted from working all day, or on my days off, I was too agitated from being around people at the grocery store or overly irritated from waiting on a long line at the bank.  I always seemed to need another a break before I had to wake up and do it all over again tomorrow. I told myself: "If I could just have a few weeks home, I could really dive into this novel, make a dent in it, and finish a first draft. I just need a big bulk of time at home." Then, of course, March rolled along, and this wasn't at all what I'd wished for!


I worked my last day in Manhattan on March 16th, and on my walk home from the train station, I realized it would be a long time before I could go into the City again. After reading a few news stories and watching Governor Cuomo's press conferences, I predicted that the earliest I would be back to work was July 1st. This made me sad because I liked being in the City.  I loved eating my lunch in cafes and the hustle and bustle of walking outdoors.  I even enjoyed hurrying around to make the train and ferry connections.  I went to bed feeling awful. But the next morning, I woke up from a dream that I'd met a male stranger (a made-up one I didn't recognize from real life), and in the dream, the chase was so exciting, and I couldn't wait to see how things would unfold.  Then the next night, I had the same dream but with a different mystery man. The third night, same thing, yet another unknown man.  Why was I having pleasant dreams when all the news around me was so tragic, and nearly the entire planet had just been forced into quarantine with terrible fears of this new virus?

Possibly because subconsciously, I was excited about the idea of finally having enough time to do my writing at home. As a natural born introvert, I've always spent most of my time at home.  I crave alone time. I long to write. But even though I was home, the state of the world was tragic and scary, and I found it difficult to concentrate on my novel. I was fortunate enough to be able to earn money from home, and the only thing I feared particularly about being in quarantine was running out of things I needed. Luckily, home deliveries of food and chocolate, non-food essentials and, of course, liquor, kept those fears in check.  So, as long as I stayed home and didn't have to worry about catching the virus, I felt okay.  But many of my friends and people talking about quarantine on TV weren't feeling okay at all. I could understand their continued anxiety and their depression if they were out of work and struggling with money, but many of them were either also working from home or being supported by someone who was.  They just couldn't get used to the idea of being indoors and not being out in the world, but I had adjusted. I tried to figure out why.

My best theory is because as a writer, the joy and satisfaction I feel is not related to being out among other people but rather in challenging myself.  Creative writing is not dependent on crowd interaction.  I think if a person's art is dependent on outside validation and applause, then being quarantined must be extremely difficult.  Another theory is that as an introvert, I gain energy by being indoors whereas extroverts are energized by being outdoors. I believe that my extrovert friends' lack of energy has slowed some of them down into a deep depression.

On a more positive note, judging by what I see on social media and TV, it seems that many people, both artists and non-artists, although somewhat depressed and anxious, are trying to make the best of quarantine by doing things they wouldn't have time for if they were out in the world right now. I'm checking off the same things that they are: I've already made homemade pizza and baked brownies; I've binged new series on Hulu like "Dollface" and "High Fidelity"; I've watched as many indie movies as I can find on Pluto TV; and I regularly watch "Cuomo Prime Time" so I can laugh at the banter between the Cuomo brothers. On weekends, I go for walks in the neighborhood or to the harbor. I've also cut my Shih-Tzu dog's bangs and often hang out with her on the deck when weather permits.

The best part of my quarantine is that I'm finally getting some writing done. I've started a brand new short story and have been working on it nearly every day which is a regularity I could never achieve before the quarantine. I'm entertaining myself and keeping up my writing chops, but I still can't really dive into the novel! I can't make a dent in it, and I haven't gotten close to finishing its first draft. Maybe the key to being comfortable in quarantine is to lower our expectations. I'm not making great progress on the novel, but I have started a new short story that wouldn't exist if I hadn't been put into quarantine.  Overall, the most important thing any of us can do is to try and stay as healthy as possible and do our part to keep others healthy as well.  We won't be indoors forever.  Time always passes much more quickly than we wished it had, and sometimes, we need to be careful of what we wish for.

I Choose Writing (Over Wine, Opiates, Laudanum...)

When I'm upset, if there is a choice between having a glass of wine or writing my thoughts down on paper, I'll always forgo the wine and instead find a pen to write my feelings down on paper. I've released my emotions through writing for many years now.  I call this habit "Therapeutic Writing." I just let all my words flow out in a stream of consciousness until my mind is finally less foggy.

As a teenager, this essential outpouring of feelings most often took the form of song lyrics, stories and poetry. But in my early twenties, I was given a gift of a blank journal with inspirational quotes on each page called a "Book of Days." At the same time, I'd been indulging in reading my first Diaries of Anais Nin. Inspired by Anais, I decided to write in my "Book of Days" daily, under each labeled day. By the end of the year, I filled the book up completely, even if some days only contained one sentence. I was amazed at how there was always SOMETHING I could come up with to write once I formed the habit of sitting down every day. I believe this is how I developed the "necessity" to write.

These days, therapeutic writing is no longer a conscious habit. Instead, it is now a sense of urgency where as soon as I feel emotional about something, I just HAVE to get it down onto paper. Even if it's on bits of scrap paper that I tear up afterwards, just the act of emptying my thoughts from my mind through my hand makes me feel so much better.

A coworker once told me that my emotions are all at the surface. I asked her if this was good or bad. She said it was good. She said it meant I was in touch with my emotions. I know that when I get upset, my thoughts are completely ruled by my emotions. Most of the time when I have a desperate need to write, I am either angry or very confused. Somehow, the act of writing my emotions down allows my brain to understand what I'm feeling. Even if I can't solve the problem, I do gain a sense of clarity, and I don't stop writing until the familiar feeling of relief comes over me. Suddenly, something that seemed insurmountable just minutes earlier has now become clear, and I'm finally calm. I am able to write down the facts of my situation and to identify the fears that are behind these emotions.

Speaking of coworkers, years ago, I noticed that two of my coworkers seemed constantly upset. They were very negative in general and always conflicted about decisions they had to make. So for Christmas, I gave both of them blank journals and told them about my very essential, daily writing habit. I suggested they write something in it every day, even if it's just a sentence, just so they can develop the habit. I explained that in no time, they will be able to use their journal as a mental medicine that will help them think clearly about what is positive in their lives and to identify their inner thoughts in order to enable them to make decisions. Sadly, I don't think either of them took me up on it. Maybe they needed an expert in the field to guide them and to confirm my beliefs about the benefits of therapeutic writing. I believe that the book I'm reading now, "Writing For Bliss," by Diana Raab, Ph.D. would have convinced them!

I met Dr. Raab through our devotion to Anais Nin because we both contributed writing pieces to Volume 13 of the Anais Nin Literary Journal "A Cafe In Space." Another thing we have in common is that both of us use the word "Bliss" in our titles! My first novel's title, "Bliss, Bliss, Bliss," is based on a quote that has the word "Bliss" in it several times and is from "The Early Diary of Anais Nin, Volume 4." Dr. Raab's new book is a great starting point to learn how to use writing to heal and to release the usual everyday tensions and stressors in a healthy way through writing rather than engaging in destructive outlets.

Dr. Raab describes the importance of journal writing in these quotes from "Writing For Bliss":


"A journal, diary, or notebook - whatever you choose to call it - can play many roles.  It can serve as a vehicle for self-expression, a tool for clarity, a repository for observations, and a container for thoughts.  A journal may also be a powerful tool for comfort during difficult times...Journal writing can be as calming and grounding as meditation is.  It can orientate you and stabilize your emotions."


I highly recommend Dr. Raab's step by step guide, "Writing For Bliss," which is extremely thorough and includes numerous exercises to get you in the habit of therapeutic writing. It is a good way to get real with yourself and to confront painful memories from the past. It helps you to learn to write from your heart, which is where the truth is, rather than from your mind. It also helps get you started on writing your own poetry and memoirs, if you've ever considered doing that.

Basically, I don't know what I would do if I didn't have writing to release my tensions and emotions. It's truly amazing how something so simple and cheap can heal so much!